Vacation

Vegas Week Recap

If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I was away on vacation last week. I spent a few days in Vegas and one in the Grand Canyon and it was wonderful. As I mentioned in my last post, this was my first vacation in years which meant it was the first vacation I went on where food was a total nonissue and I wasn't worried about what my body looked like which was a complete blessing (and something I genuinely never thought I would say). There was no trying to compensate for food I ate during the trip either before or after. There was no forcing myself into early morning runs down the strip (there was no runs at all, as a matter of fact). There was no counting calories. There were just days and days of good company and good food. 

Sushi burritos from Jaburrito's

Sushi burritos from Jaburrito's

I think it's impossible to choose the best thing I ate while there but I will say the sushi burritos hit it out of the park. Sushi? Delicious. Burritos? Amazing. Together? A gift from the gods (okay, maybe that's a little dramatic but not really). I believe this one had spicy tuna (my favorite kind of sushi), shrimp tempura and crab with avocado and rice and Romaine and something else I can't remember...love, probably. It was amazing and the fact that the weather in Vegas was warm enough to eat it outside made it even better. We went back to the same place a few days later for sushi cupcakes as a snack (yeah, those exist). Okay, I know I said I couldn't pick the best food we ate while we were there but it was totally the sushi burritos. The best drink we had while there my sister & I ordered on the first night. We got watermelon mojitos at this Mexican place and while I was pretty skeptical because I don't like artificial watermelon flavor, it was delicious. No artificial watermelon flavor here, just refreshing and sweet and delicious. We had a lot of other tasty drinks while we were there but that one definitely took the cake (no picture because we had it after 12 hours of traveling and I was exhausted).

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Vegas was great (albeit tiring and expensive) but visiting the Grand Canyon was definitely the highlight of the trip. If you haven't been yet, I highly recommend adding it to your bucket list if it's not already. It was so beautiful and the weather was perfect for walking along the trail and taking approximately one boatload of pictures. The view is awe-inspiring and for someone who has lived her whole life in the crammed, people and buildings everywhere East Coast (New England specifically), it was wild just to drive out there with hundreds of miles of uninterrupted road and landscape. It was a lot of fun and also a little scary that there's no fences or anything around most of it- maybe it's just because I'm a grade A worrier but I was a little nervous the whole time that someone was going to topple in- I know, I know, that's an irrational fear. 

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One thing I want to make a note of is that because there are so many opportunities for good food in Vegas, I sometimes ate things that I wasn't necessarily hungry for but didn't want to pass up the opportunity to eat. Like on the last day we were there, we had some time to kill before we went to the airport and my sister suggested getting gelato. I wasn't particularly hungry but I very rarely get the chance to eat gelato and it's something I really enjoy. So I ate it anyway. I think one thing that happens when we talk about intuitive eating is that it gets boiled down to "eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full" when really it's so much more than that. Intuitive Eating actually makes a point to mention that satisfaction and pleasure are a part of normal eating- so while my body didn't neccessarily crave gelato in that moment, I found a lot of pleasure in eating it (half coffee/half speculoos was a winning combo). There's no need to feel guilty and there's no need to worry about being a "perfect" intuitive eater. Perfect doesn't exist and by striving for it, we're just defeating the purpose of intuitive eating which is rooted in flexibility, self-compassion, and gentleness. 

As much as I enjoyed our trip, I'm happy to be home this week because I love my comfy bed and I love my routines. Being away also re-energized me a bit so I've been making more time for writing and other work I've been putting off this week. One of my intentions for the blog this year was to share a bit more of my personal life. I realized that when I had been writing on Sundaes for the Soul, nearly all my blogs were personal and I do that less so here. But I gotta say, I miss it so I'm going to be sharing a bit more of my personal life with you here (like this blog post) because that's what I like to read from my favorite bloggers (ImmaEatThat and The Real Life RD come to mind) and I hope that's what you like too. Let me know what you think!

Talk to you soon, 
Meghan xo

Pre-Vacation Thoughts

Tomorrow I'm leaving for my first real vacation in so many years, I can't even count. I'm heading to Las Vegas with my sister and our partners and I'm so excited for good company and good food. Besides the odd weekend away here or there (mostly for weddings and/or family events), I haven't been anywhere just for pure fun in so long. And it's a very weird feeling, mostly because I am always always doing something. Even on my days off, I'm cleaning or writing or working on my business or learning or doing something to stay busy. The last time I laid in bed all day and relaxed was when I was sick (which wasn't that relaxing at all). My partner is always poking fun at my inability to sit still. So going on a trip that likely won't involve any work at all (probably, maybe) is an odd (but good) feeling. There's also something different about this trip...

Historically, I haven't been very good at vacations. When I was younger, my travel anxiety was so severe that I couldn't really go anyway without throwing up (I was a lot of fun!!!) And then when I got older, I was so entrenched in diet culture that I couldn't enjoy the food I was eating or the sights I was seeing because I was so stressed out about calories and when I was going to make it to the gym. The last time I went away for an extended period of time, I was still pretty caught up in diet culture and as anyway who has been in the depths of dieting or disordered eating while traveling knows, it's not particularly fun. Honestly, is there anything more depressing than looking out the window at a beautiful place from a hotel gym? Is there anything worse than looking at all the delicious food options but instead, opting for something "lighter" or "cleaner" or whatever bullshit term you want to use to describe less-delicious food (not to say that all stereotypically "healthy" meals are not delicious- just that when you only allow yourself a very limited range of foods when you're surrounded by so many enticing options, it gets pretty sad). I thought that I was "in control" but in reality, I was being totally and entirely controlled by my disordered relationship to food. I thought that I was keeping myself in "check" but truthfully, I was just ignoring my body's inner wisdom and intuition. 

My vacations (and life in general) were pretty rooted in deprivation. Rather than enjoying all the delicious and appreciating where I was, I was thinking about all the things I couldn't have or couldn't do because I was too worried about eating "too much" or not being able to go for a run. It makes me sad to think about it now but like so many other things about recovery, that sadness is tinged in gratitude. Gratitude that I can now order whatever I want guilt-free. Gratitude that I can pack a lighter suitcase because there's no need for workout clothes or sneakers. Gratitude in knowing that I can nourish my body and my soul, whatever that means for me in the moment. 

Unlike every other vacation I've been on since I was about 15 years old, my prep for this vacation hasn't involve altering my food or movement at all. There's been (and will be) no restricting to compensate for all the tasty food I'm going to eat in the next week. There's been no extra workouts. There's been no trying to force my body into a size that it doesn't naturally want to be at just so I can look "better" in that dress. I'm not worrying about any weight I may or may not gain. I trust my body to take care of me. I trust that my body will know what to do if I eat more than normal. And that's the big difference between this and every other vacation: I trust my body to take care of me. I don't have to worry about what's going to "happen" to it because I know my body has my back (no pun intended?). So here's to a week of body trust, intuition and fun. What a radical concept! 

Talk to you when I get back,
xo Meghan

Cover photo by louis amal